??????

 I feel like I've been sleeping the last decade or so. I've dedicated almost my whole life to care for everyone but myself. I finally started caring for myself and it feels like the whole world is falling apart without my constant supervision. I started school throughout I started to feel more like myself but while doing so it felt like the world was fighting against me. Every person I knew and loved was telling me I shouldn't or couldn't do it that I was neglecting my family. I woke up each day feeling a mixture of excitement and emotions I'm not even sure of. Each class each day I went through I felt more and more like myself. With each day I felt closer to my husband. I'm at a point in my life where everything is changing at a pace that gives me a ridiculous amount of anxiety. I have never been great at being weak or accepting help but in the last couple of years I've wanted to. I have wanted to be weak with Mike. I've wanted him to know every doubt insecurity. It feels like since day one I've been fighting him on the emotional stuff when all I really want is to melt into him. I don't want to hide from him. I just want him to be the only person in the world that can see me clearly and that's how it's only been. I always wondered if he had a serious issue because Mike has always loved me regardless of my issues. He always looked past them and loved me and only me. They say when you meet your person the whole world stops and you can 9nly see that person and you are never the same. From that second on you become a different person. Every second of every day that person is your everything every action decision anything is solely to make that person happy or to become a better person so that person can have the wife they deserve. Your world glows because you experience a wholeness you have never experienced. Everything that mattered before that meeting doesn't any more. You hopes and dreams fall solely with that person and all you want is to spend every waking second trying to make that person happy. You want more than anything to have a world with that person. To spend every waking second holding loving and comforting that person. To look into their eyes, hear their voice, hold their hand, to love them in completeness. I have lived my life by other people's guidelines but this one decision no matter how crazy is mine to make. I have only ever loved one person but have spent my time and energy trying to pretend I didn't. But my truth is I am his and he is mine and I could never have it any other way. I love him and I don't care who knows. That's enough gay for today honey..its progress I'm Leeann Tew and I couldn't be anyone else.